


lonely, but not alone

by ghostscribe



Series: 9,000 meters above sea level [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Red & Green & Blue & Yellow | Pokemon Red Green Blue Yellow Versions
Genre: Angst, Gen, Injury, like weird glitchy injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 17:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostscribe/pseuds/ghostscribe
Summary: Red enjoys the company of very few, and he enjoys the view off the coast of Cinnabar Island. His solace is compromised, though, and when the last safe place you know is violently torn out of your hands, sometimes you make brash decisions.





	lonely, but not alone

Red is alone this morning.

He likes to come to Cinnabar Island when he's feeling this way, lonely yet somehow still eager to be alone. It's his one place of solace. Maybe it's just the nature of someone who's always been shy, socially anxious, even too petrified to speak. That's landed him in quite a bit of trouble, in the past. It's hard to teach your Pokémon how to follow your commands in battle when you can't actually _give_ them your instructions. He's managed to get them to follow his orders through various claps and whistles, though. That's better than nothing; _impressive,_ is what Professor Oak said. Apparently that's a much harder task than Red thought it was, because it seemed to come so naturally to his team.

Speaking of his team, Pikachu has decided to play in the water too close to his feet, giving him a bit of a shock.

"Be careful," he nearly whispers, and Pikachu nods. The little mouse darts over to Blastoise to hitch a ride further into the water.

They like doing this, coming to the coast line and just playing in the water. It's especially nice on these hot summer days, getting your toes in the ocean and the breeze on your face. He brought Green here the other day, but Green is... energetic, to say the absolute least. He's hyperactive, almost. He doesn't understand how to just appreciate a moment, for some reason. That's why Green declined to come with Red to watch the sunrise. Playing in the water is fine for him, but apparently a sunrise is boring. It's a shame, really. There's a lot of peace to be had in just existing in a moment, but Green is always running into the future, darting as far ahead of Red as he can.

Yes, Green has always been two steps ahead of Red. Red has won battles against him, but... Sometimes it feels like a fluke. Sometimes he's almost sure he's able to beat Green out of sheer luck. Usually, his victories are because Green gets cocky, and there's an opening for an attack, and Red and his team take the victory out from under Green. In a way, that's how he became the Pokémon Champion of the Indigo League. Green got too arrogant, too reckless, he forgot that Gyarados is weak to electric attacks, and Pikachu swung in with the final attack. It was about a month and two failed attempts after Green became champion that Red dethroned him.

Now he's here, on the coast of Cinnabar, quiet and alone, adamantly avoiding everyone.

It's usually very quiet here, yes. It's a very private space, especially after the Pokémart closes. The waves always lap so gently here at low tide, making for what Red would honestly call the perfect spot to just sit and breathe, especially at sunrise.

He sees a sliver of light coming over the horizon, in fact. He loves watching the sun come up.

_"Pika!"_

Red looks up to see Pikachu covered in water, with Blastoise heartily laughing. He sighs and calls quietly to them. "Blastoise, don't bully Pikachu."

 _"Veee..."_ The Eevee sitting next to him is, as usual, disappointed in their tomfoolery. Eevee is... interesting, really. Green's Eevee is incredibly energetic, almost as much so as Green, and when one of them wants to stir up some trouble, the other is sure to follow, and then all hell breaks loose. Eevee are energetic by nature, of course, but that one is a mess.

Red's Eevee nuzzles against his thigh, and he rubs the top of her head. He still remembers bringing her back to Professor Oak two weeks after he caught her, feeling worried for her health. She's very quiet, not timid, but low energy and seemingly deep in thought at any given point. Her tail swishes more than wags, and even when she's playing with Green's Eevee, she remains very steady. Red wasn't uncomfortable with the idea of a quieter Pokémon (much of the rest of his team can be pretty outrageous, save for Snorlax), but her behavior was... odd.

 _She has the disposition of a psychic Pokémon,_ Oak mused. _I do know of a psychic evolution of Eevee originating in Johto, though. Maybe she would be cut out for that..._

He does need a psychic type on his team, actually. If she happens to evolve into one of those mysterious Espeon, that would be outstanding. Her evolution is up to her, though. That's also why Pikachu hasn't evolved yet.

 _"Saur."_ Red looks over at Venusaur.

"What's up?" Venusaur pulls Red's backpack off his shoulder, as she tends to do. "Hey! What are you doing? If you need something, all you need to do is - hey, be careful!"

The grass type is a piece of work, emptying Red's bag onto the ground until a breakfast bar falls out. She holds it out to Red in one of her vines.

"I'm not hungry."

 _"Venusaur!" You need to eat!_ Sometimes Red feels like Venusaur is more of a second mom than a Pokémon. He hesitantly opens the package.

"Okay, fine, but you can't get mad at me if I don't eat it all."

 _"Saur."_ She seems content, now. The snack is a bit stale, but he does need to eat eventually.

_"Blas! Blastoise!"_

The huge turtle comes racing in from the water, carrying Pikachu on his back.

"You hungry too, buddy?" Red attempts to offer the granola he didn't intend to eat anyway, but Venusaur shoves it back towards him. "Okay, okay! Look, how about we go home and get some real breakfast, instead of stale food that's been in my bag for three weeks, okay?"

 _"Zaard?"_ Charizard lifts his head and flaps his wings. _Am I flying?_

"Yeah, probably. We'll see if Mom is up yet, and if she's not, I can see what we can make for us all, okay? Let's - "

Something weird is thrashing in the water.

Whatever is in there looks almost frantic. Is... There wouldn't be anything drowning in there, right? Maybe something is hurt, though. Red knows there's quite a few fire types that live on the island, with Blaine's gym being here, so maybe one of them got swept into the waves? The water is so calm, though...

_"Pika pi!" Let's help!_

He feels anxious, though. There's this overwhelming terror in his chest. He does experience quite a bit of anxiety, yes, but that's usually caused by too much socializing. This Pokémon, though...

Red edges a little closer to where the thing is thrashing. He... Why is he so hesitant? He's _never_ been hesitant about approaching a Pokémon before, ever. People, sure, but that's not a person, as far as he can see.

_"Chaaar?" What are you waiting for?_

Red can't find his voice to answer. With slightly trembling hands, he pulls his Pokédex out and aims it at the... whatever it is.

け ̡͠ つ̧ ̷͜͟ ば ̷ ͜ ん ̸͞͠

҉̴̢҉͢

?͜??

HT͟ 1.̧0m

W̕T ̷1̢0 ̡kg͟

n ͘ o ̵̶ ͜ . ͞ ͏ ͠ 0 ̵̶ 0 ̶̡͟ 0 ̷

コメ̶ン̶̢ト͘͡ ̡̨さ̷く̶せ̨̕いち̧͟ゅ͝う

"What the hell?" His voice is light, trembling.

 _"Pii..."_ Pikachu hops onto Red's shoulder and reads the Pokédex entry, sounding just as confused as Red feels, but not nearly as terrified. Eevee is growling at the thing, though.

"...everyone, get back in your pokéballs."

Of course, Charizard objects. _"Char!"_

"It's dangerous."

_"Blaaas..." You don't know that._

"Back. _Now._ "

There's some reluctance, but no further objections. Pikachu is the only one not to go back into his pokéball. Typical.

"You need to go too."

_"Pika pi!" I'm protecting you!_

"No you're not. _I'm_ protecting _you,_ now get in your ball before - _Pikachu!"_

The mouse is running toward the thrashing water, and if his life weren't at risk, Red would have stayed frozen for a second longer.

The thrashing in the water is getting more vigorous. Red freezes again.

"Pikachu, come back, _please_."

He must sound horrified; Pikachu comes running back, electricity sparking off its cheeks, standing defensively between the trainer and the... whatever it is.

It's coming out of the water.

What _is_ that?

It's... It's bad. Horrible and uncanny. It looks like a real version of the broken pixels on the corner of Red's Pokédex. It's exuding this awful static-like noise. The air feels electrified.

 _"Kaa..."_ Pikachu growls lowly. Even he looks nervous now, though.

The... He supposes they can be called pixels, the pixels suddenly all mix and shift, and there's almost a face on this lump on the side of an otherwise rectangular body, or maybe he's just seeing things. Red, against his better judgement, against even his _worst_ judgement, attempts to approach it.

The beast seems to notice him. It uses water gun, of all things. Red can't find it in him to move, though, so Pikachu accepts the hit, taking little damage from the _oh god that screeching is so horrible why is it screeching -_

He hears one of his pokéballs break open, and suddenly his head is spinning, and he ends up falling down because _that noise_ and he's dizzy, swirling, his limbs are starting to hurt from the static in the air, he hears another blast of water and almost something like wings, but he can't hear either of his Pokémon, so who knows if that's Charizard or if this ungodly thing grew wings when he wasn't looking, there's water sloshing everywhere and _loud loud loud loud -_

There's a moment where Red can't hear a thing. When he looks up, Venusaur and Pikachu are both on the ground, horribly battered by the creature. It hovers over Red, its body melting and reconsolidating into this lopsided rectangle so rapidly that he can't wrap his head around what he's looking at.

What is this. What is this? What could this possibly be?

It looks... almost soft...

One touch shouldn't hurt. He reaches out and **_oh god no -_**

Red feels his scream more than he hears it. His hand is searing hot, shaking and twitching and honestly it almost looks like it might be falling apart, if that makes any sense, which it doesn't, but it _hurts_ , it feels worse than any bit of electricity that Pikachu ever shot at him in their early days, worse than getting shocked by an Electrode, and those _really_ hurt, it's a worse pain than anything he's ever experienced in his life and he's not sure if he's fainting out or not.

His eyes did shut, and he opens them, and the beast is trying to... absorb, is the word he'll use, it's trying to absorb his hand.

"Ve... saur..." That's all he can choke out, and Venusaur doesn't seem to hear him. He whistles a _whe~e whee!,_ which is louder, better, and now the grass type is looking at him attentively.

"Mas... ter..." _Master ball._ Venusaur seems to understand, miraculously.

Red manages to yank his hand out of the... entity, before it can swallow him whole. He starts backing away rapidly from it, but every time his hands hit the sand the granules seem to slip under his skin, or something, because it's unbelievably painful and there's no other explanation Red can even imagine.

The creature makes a cry that sounds almost like a garbled, digital Nidoran cry.

Venusaur is inching closer slowly, trying her best not to disturb the... Pokémon, if he can call it that. It comes a little closer to Red, and Venusaur gets a little closer to his bag, and Red inches a little further away from it, and this process continues three more times until the thing lunges at Red, engulfing his foot and part of his leg _god that hurts -_

The sound of a Pokéball being thrown cuts through the static, but just barely, and suddenly Red is free. He frantically scrambles away now, refusing to even look back until he hears a _click,_ the telltale sound of a successful catch.

He doesn't feel successful.

He grabs his shoes and puts them as loosely on his feet as he can. Any contact with his infected skin right now is horrendously painful, but he does need to walk home. Maybe he can fly back? How is he going to get Charizard out, though? His hands are covered in... something, he's not sure what. It looked like garbled computer data in the moment, but now it's just... dripping. It's a sticky, inky purple with these sparkles of orange and white, almost beautiful in a way. Almost like tar, in terms of pain, but still pretty, at least.

Maybe he could let it back out for a moment. Just a moment. It looked so soft...

He releases the creature, and it rushes him, he's suddenly blown across the beach and face first into the sand. He feels a blast to his back, and again the pain is searing. What is he doing? What's going on? Where is he?

Another _click._ Venusaur has trapped the beast again.

_"Venusaur!"_

Red shoves himself up, sobbing from the ache in his back and the pit of sick in his stomach, now. He just... He felt so compelled to let the Pokémon back out, so much so that he completely disregarded how much pain it just caused him, injuries that he doesn't know if anyone knows how to fix...

"Put it away," he whispers, but neither of his teammates hear him. Pikachu comes running up, but stalls a few feet away from Red. The electric type's expression is nothing short of horrified.

"Tell Venusaur to put the pokéball somewhere safe." His voice is wavering worse than he's ever heard it waver.

 _"Pika-ka! Pika pii! Pika!"_ Pikachu relays the message, and Venusaur nods, taking the trapped entity and shoving it away in its own pocket in Red's bag. The purple sheen glimmers through the mesh in the bag. He's forever grateful that he had that master ball. There's way it could break out. That's perfect, putting it in the highest security pokéball in existence.

Okay, step one; put the threat away. Got it. Good. Step two; get Charizard to fly him to safety. How is he supposed to handle the pokéball Charizard is in, though? His hands are still... The substances looks caked onto him now, actually, like pixels ingrained into his skin. His fingers are free of the stuff, but the backs of his hands and his palms aren't as lucky. He doesn't even want to see what happened to his leg...

Curiously, Red pushes his hands into the sand and tries to stand. Not too painful, actually. He can probably grab Charizard and -

Whatever substance is on his hands has multiplied onto the shore. It's... twitching, seizing, flashing and emitting a light static-like sound.

He nearly starts crying again. He doesn't know what this is, but he's terrified.

"Red, boy? Where are you?"

_"Pika!"_

Pikachu and... Blaine? That's Blaine's voice. When did Pikachu leave for help?

"Red, what are you up to? Why is Pikachu so excitable this morning?" He sounds so cheerful. He doesn't know. "Are you having fun in - "

Silence. He must have caught sight of Red's hands.

"...what do you have on you?"

He can't speak.

"Does... Does that hurt?" Red nods. "Should I call Oak?" He nods more frantically. "Come on, let's... let's get you inside. Before anyone sees you."

Venusaur carefully handles Red's bag with one of vine and gently pushes him along with another vine. Pikachu trots along at Red's feet, rather than sitting on his shoulders like he usually does.

The blurs of a sunrise that Red can see through pained tears are beautiful.

* * *

 

"We've never seen anything like it."

Red sits with his head hung, gazing emptily at the ground. His mother's arm around him would usually be comforting, but... All he wanted to do was go home and get some breakfast, and then _this_ happens. He should learn to just stay put. His mom had been hesitant to let him go on his journey anyway, right? He should have listened. This is objectively his fault.

"It doesn't appear to be rubbing off on anything anymore, but it is... We don't know _what_ it is," Professor Oak continues, carefully examining Red's hand with gloved fingers. "It appears to be fading, but it's likely going to leave scars, if you said it was burning you, Red."

He nods weakly. He feels exhausted. He's been in here for examination and testing since eight in the morning, and it doesn't look like he's going to leave any time soon. Even when (if) he's allowed home for the night, they're probably going to call him back again the next day. If... If there's more Pokémon like this, Red supposes it's for the betterment of the science, for the safety of other people, and yet... God, he just wants to go to bed and forget this ever happened.

Oh, and _if there's more Pokémon like this._ That's a terrible thought. That's just an awful thought. 

"Is he going to be able to use his hands again? How severe is it?" his mom questions nervously.

"Oh, of course," Oak nods. "His dexterity may suffer, but his fingers seem to be in decent condition. Heck, they're better than mine are - but that's not saying much."

He's never understood why adults have such a weirdly plain sense of humor. At least his mom is laughing.

"It is going to take some time for him to fully heal, though," he continues, "and while the scar tissue on his hands isn't as severe, his leg looks... worse. He can walk," Oak adds quickly before anyone worries, "he'll still be able to walk. The skin is just going to have some serious scarring, from what we're gathering."

His fingers do look paler than before, with strange marks on them, almost forming in jagged rectangles like bismuth crystals. It looks wrong. Intentionally corrupted. It looks like the worst mistake he's ever made in his life. Can it be the last mistake he ever makes? Was this stupid enough that he can just have a free pass for the rest of his life? How -

How much longer does he have to live?

Wow. That's... not a thought he needed today.

"...but we're not sure about the internal tissue," Oak continues a thought Red didn't hear. "We would have to start running x-rays, but we want to make sure it's even safe to do that. If this material has high enough amounts of, say... oh, I don't know, some chemical that reacts violently to x-rays, it could potentially permanently damage him or force an amputation."

"But that's only _if_ you do x-rays," his mother presses. Oak nods.

"And only if this substance reacts to x-rays. Red, you don't happen to know what did this to you, do you?"

No answer.

"I understand this is hard for you, Red," Oak kneels by him, now, "but if you don't tell us what Pokémon did this, more people could get hurt, you know. We need to figure this out so that everyone can be safe."

He can't find his voice.

"Red."

He shakes his head. Oak sighs.

"Do you want to talk to Green? Would that help?"

He considers it, and he honestly doesn't want Green involved, but he also desperately wants his friend by his side. He nods, and Oak stands back up.

"Green!" he calls into the back of the lab. "Come out here!"

Green has been studying this substance all day alongside the other scientists (he's brilliant, really), which is the only reason Red trusts that what Oak is saying about it is true. Green wouldn't intentionally lie about his findings, here, and certainly not when Red is involved. He would want Red to know if he's safe - then again, what if he's downplaying the severity so Red doesn't panic? How much worse could it be?

The ex-champion walks out at a brisk pace. His hair is a mess and his eyes look dry.

"Did you even eat today?" Oak asks.

"Ate a bit past noon," Green curtly answers and turns to Red. "How're you holding up, buddy?"

Red only shakes his head. Completely disregarding the risk of touching an unknown substance (or perhaps not worrying, since he's still in his work clothes), Green pulls Red into a tight hug, holding his hands away from Red's back, for some reason.

"I know this is scary, but we're gonna fix you up, okay? And I'm gonna find the Pokémon that hurt you and catch it and keep it far away from you."

Green has no idea.

"If you'd like to come with me," Oak addresses Red's mother, "we can leave these two to their own devices for a few minutes."

"Yes, of course." She hugs Red too, now, a little tighter and longer than Red would usually allow. "Be safe, sweetie. Take care of him, Green, - oh, and go eat something soon, okay? Both of you are probably starving."

"Right after this," Green half-promises, but he's definitely not planning on eating. He has that look on his face.

The air is quiet without the adults in the room. Green fists and uncurls his fingers.

"I'd hold your hands, but I might have gunk on my gloves," he offers. That explains the awkward hug.

"It's okay." Red can barely hear himself.

"What was it?"

"I dunno."

"Did your team know?"

"They didn't even think it was dangerous."

"But did they know?"

"No."

"You can talk to them, though," Green insists. "Even if they didn't look threatened, couldn't you, like... I dunno, something about being able to hear their voices, or whatever?"

Red scoffs. "That's some weird Unova legend. I'm just good at reading people and Pokémon."

"Yeah, but like, you're creepily good at it."

He shrugs. "They told me it should be fine." Pause. "I'm so stupid."

"No, you're - "

"I'm always getting into trouble, and then you guys always have to bail me out," he laments. "I can fight off Team Rocket, but I couldn't even find my way through a stupid cave without holding you up. I can become the Pokémon champion, but I can't even do a single stupid interview about it. Why am I like this, Green? Why can't I do anything right?! Why is the world always out to get me?!"

Green flicks his gloves off while Red rants, then hugs him tightly when he stops shouting. It pains Red that he can't really hug him back. If he contaminates anything else (it doesn't _seem_ contagious, but...), he'll never outgrow that guilt.

"I'm here with you, Red, I promise. And I promise you can do lots of things right. You went through the whole Kanto League and came out on top. You stopped Team Rocket. You raised all your Pokémon with all the love and care they needed to get to where they are today. Heck, you even deal with me on a daily basis. Even that should get you an award."

Normally, this would comfort him, but today is different.

"Green?"

"What's up, Red?"

"I wanna run away."

Green only hugs him tighter. "Please don't. We'd all miss you too much."

Red has made up his mind, then. No more mistakes.

* * *

 

No he hasn't. He's disappearing with one last mistake.

It's been about a week and a half, and apparently Red's injuries weren't contagious, but they _were_ detrimental. Something about very ( _very_ ) slowly healing nerve damage, specifically on the skin. It supposedly didn't go down to his bones, but Red _felt_ it, and he's just anticipating the worst for now.

He'd been quiet these past days. Pleasant. No one suspected a thing.

Only Green knows now.

"I told you not to run away, stupid!" he screams at the top of his lungs. Red continues packing, teary-eyed and exhausted.

"I'm not."

"Then why are you packing up, like, everything you own?!"

"I don't own much anyway."

"That's more than you packed for getting your badges."

"I know."

"Then where are you going?"

"Out."

" _Where,_ Red?! You can't just leave us like this!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"I will when you tell me what the heck you're doing! You can't do stuff like this? Do you know how worried everyone's gonna be? Do you know how worried _I_ am, right now, just watching you pack?!"

"Just leave me alone." Red's voice wavers, though.

"No!"

Green tries to grab a revive out of Red's hand, but he yanks it back. He tosses it in the bag, making deep eye contact with Green all the while, just to prove a point.

"Go away." Red turns away from Green and readjusts his glove. Green actually bought them for him, which is the sad part.

"I don't wanna let you run away and never be able to see you again." God, his voice sounds pitiful.

"I'll see you again, I promise. Just... let me go. Please."

Green gets some fire in his voice again. "If I let you go now, how do I know you'll actually come back? You're probably just gonna fly off and never talk to me again!"

"That's not gonna happen, Green! Why would I stop talking to the only person I like to talk to other than my mom?"

"Because... Because..."

Oh my god he's crying.

"I didn't protect you," he chokes out, tears rolling freely. "Your mom only let you go challenge the Pokémon League with me because I promised I'd protect you. But then I got impatient, and I, I ran off without you, and you were always just _fine,_ and I thought... I thought..."

Red is crying too, now.

"I thought you would be safe. You, you always were, but I let you get hurt before, because I was being stupid, and this time..."

He did invite Green to come sit with him, and Green did decline, and Red could have died.

"You didn't know what was gonna happen," Red offers softly.

"That doesn't matter! I should've helped you!" he practically shrieks. "If you run away, then I _really_ won't be able to help you, and then if you get hurt..."

They're both imagining the worst; death, or whatever fate that mysterious beast has. Red is the first to break the silence.

"I'll come back. I promise."

"Please. Please make sure you come back, okay? I-I'll even make you pancakes, okay?" He's grinning through his tears, typical Green. "You want extra syrup with them?"

Red feels hollow. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

He's almost done packing when Green hugs him from behind, and after he's been there for about five minutes, Red is the one getting impatient.

"Can you let go, now?" No answer. "Green."

"I'm not letting you go."

"I said I'd come back."

"I know."

"I wanna leave, Green!"

"I don't _want_ you to leave, Red!"

"Let me go!"

"No!"

They're tumbling across the floor now, and Green is trying to grab Red's bag, either to break it or take stuff out so Red can't leave. Either way is a losing battle. Even if he has to go empty handed with only his Pokémon, Red is done here.

He's not just done with the monster that attacked him. He's done with _everything._

It's the fame of being a champion, the reporters knock on your mom's door or try to get a glimpse of a twelve year old through his bedroom window, following him into and out of restaurants so much that he hasn't eaten out in seven months, asking question after question to a boy who barely even speaks, rumors and rumors and _rumors._ It's the weight of being a hero, taking down Team Rocket almost single handedly (yes, Green was there, too), breaking into every hideout they had just to tear it up from the inside, defeating their leader, taking his gym badge while the man fled from the police like a coward, leaving a kid to stand triumphantly on his throne, desecrating it with his heroic antics. It's the longing for isolation, a fear of crowds that's become nearly a phobia as the crowds close in on him, a desire to have one mom, one friend, a lot of Pokémon and nothing else, but he can't have his cake and eat it, too, so if he has to leave two people behind then so be it.

It's dangerous down here. He's surrounded by stalkers and intense emotions and Pokémon that are out to kill.

The master ball rolls out of his backpack.

"Are you listening to me?!" Green shouts. Red has not been listening.

"Just get _off_ of me!"

"I don't want you to run away!"

"Are we friends, Green?!"

Oh, that caught him off-guard. "Of... Of course we are. Why - "

"Then let me go."

Green isn't usually one to cry when he's angry. "Don't be selfish!"

" _I'm_ being selfish? I'm the one who gets stalked by news reporters! There's still Team Rocket grunts that try to attack me! You were never there for me when I needed you after you got your Charmander, you know," and now he's pulling out all these old resentments he wanted to hide. "You were just _so_ obsessed with becoming the Indigo League Champion that you left me behind! You even started bullying me, Green! You got too competitive! What did that even get you?! You let me get hurt, you overworked your Pokémon, you pushed one of your teammates to the point where he _died -_ " oh, that's a sore spot, that's a low blow, " - what do you even care about, Green?! All you care about is being the best! I don't care _what_ a good trainer you are! I don't care what a good trainer _I_ am! I don't wanna be the champion! The only thing I ever wanted to be was your best friend, and you won't even let me have that anymore!"

Red sobs loudly, wholeheartedly, choking on his own sadness so much that he might vomit.

"I just wanted to watch the sunrise."

No answer. 

"Do you only want me to stay because I'm trying to leave?"

Green can't manage to answer that.

"You're not my friend anymore, Green. You obviously don't want me around anyway."

Something in the back of his mind tells him that he might be wrong, he's horribly wrong, but Red isn't about to humor anything or anyone. He grabs his bag, slips the master ball away before anyone can see it, and sprints out of the house.

Green chases him until Red gets on Charizard's back and flies away. He sobs on the dragon's neck for half an hour, at least.

* * *

_"Char..."_

"I'm fine."

_"Charizard?"_

"...I'm not fine."

That's the only dialogue exchange they've had during this flight.

Red just feels empty. Tired. He's too exhausted to even think. He just lost his best friend, his _only_ friend, if you're not counting Pokémon, and he's not, because Green is something special. Is there any point in going back home anymore? He'll miss his mom, but he doesn't want to see Green again. He wants to forget he even existed. The sooner he can forget about how badly he just ruined their relationship, the better. Green will just hate Red, and Red will forget Green, and everything will be so much easier, and it won't hurt anymore.

_The opposite of love is indifference._

For the life of him, Red can't recall who said that. He'll follow that through, though. The sooner he gets over Green, the better.

Every time he tells himself that, he starts crying again.

_"Zaard?"_

"I messed up so bad," Red sobs.

_"Charrr..."_

"No, it's not fine!" he snaps. "You know how much Green means to me, and now he hates me because I snapped on him!"

_"Char. Chari."_

"He... He kinda did bully me, but when we both actually sat down together, it was fine," Red insists. "And, I mean, he's been so supportive of me being the champion. I know he was kinda a sore loser about it at first, a-and he was getting super braggy about it when he won, but when he finally calmed down he was just being nice to me again, a-and everything was fine. He helped keep reporters distracted by talking for me or about me, and he helped me fight some of the Rocket grunts that were still after me, and he always made me pancakes when I woke up early enough, and we still went for walks through Viridian Forest, and we were still training together, and he showed me all the research he was doing, and we still had sleepovers, and..."

He loses his voice to incoherent weeping. Charizard actually slows and circles once, looking for a spot to land, before Red realizes what he's doing.

"We're not turning back. Keep going towards Mount Silver."

_"Charri?"_

"If anyone asks, we're training there."

_"Chari char?"_

"I mean, we are..." He didn't specify that he's running away. "I'll explain to everyone when we get there."

 _"Rrr..."_ Charizard gives a purr of approval. Good. Red can't risk Charizard deciding to just bring them home.

He still feels the master ball in his bag. Even better. The further he can get this thing away from civilization, the better. Maybe it'll eat him alive and his worries will be gone.

The mountain is huge, just absolutely vast. The top third of it is coated in heavy snow; he can't even see the peak, actually. It's covered in clouds, no doubt dousing the place in more snow. This was the place that caught Red's attention when he was looking for a place to hide away. Viridian Forest is just way too close to home, Cerulean Cave is still too close to the city. Mount Silver is the ideal place, close enough to home that he _could_ go back, but absolutely far enough, high enough, treacherous enough that no one will find him, ever. As far as everyone back at sea level knows, Red is as good as dead and gone, now.

He glances at his hands. Green gave him these gloves. His friend. Ex-friend.

Best friend in the whole, wide world.

It takes Charizard literally fifteen passes at the mountain before they manage to land somewhere, in great part because of the wind, and in smaller part because Red is crying too much to tell him what to do (and wow, his tears are freezing to his cheeks). Charizard settles for landing near a small hole in the rock face, on an outcrop near the summit. Red almost wonders if he could just abandon the master ball here, but someone else would surely pick it up. He wonders if he should open it again, but the last time it tempted him, it tried to eat his leg. He would just break the damn thing if he had less of a conscience.

 _"Zah... Zard..."_ Oh, no, Charizard must be freezing. Red is absolutely frigid, but he thought a fire type would fare better.

"Let's go in here," Red offers, ushering the dragon inside. The cave isn't much better, but they're out of the squalls. "We'll set up a little camp in here. This can be home for us."

_"Zar?"_

"This is home."

Yes, this is home, now.

Red shouldn't be too picky about which of the alcoves he makes his camp in; he's limited on options and sort of freezing to death. He should have taken a coat with him, but he didn't want anyone to have any idea of where he was going. They won't look up here if it seems wildly unlikely that he _would_ be up a mountain.

He does opt for the cave-within-a-cave that overlooks a crystal blue lake, near the top of the larger cavern. It looks cooler. It does feel a bit warmer.

So here is where Red resolves to live, to set up camp. Here is where he lays out one blanket and one pillow, where he sets up a miniature Pokémon center and an old radio. He has enough food for a tiny kitchen, but he only knows how to make rice, so he's going to have to figure out how to cook real meat, probably fish, because ten boxes of rice won't go far.

Oh, of course his Pokémon are worried, upset, even angry at Red for making such a brash, selfish decision. Of course it's selfish for him to run away just so he, and no one else, can feel better. It snows year-round up here, the terrain is nearly impossible to navigate without twisting or breaking some body part, the risk of frostbite is perpetually present, but Red refuses, absolutely refuses to leave. The first decade of his life was fine, but then he went and defeated Team Rocket, went and became the Indigo League Champion, and now he's just constantly watching his back and on the run. He's sick of running. He's sick of being sick with how nervous he always is, how anxious and frantic he is to just be _alone._

Of course his Pokémon try to talk him out of it. They try to take him back home, try to insist that he's dearly, painfully missed, but he becomes even quieter, even more withdrawn, and he's not about to give that up. He's not about to go back to even having the capacity to cry hysterically when he loses his best friend. He doesn't want to be hurt, he doesn't want to be scared, he doesn't want to be attacked, hell, he doesn't even want to be happy anymore. He just wants to be left to himself, do what makes him feel calm, safe.

Even with that dangerous creature in his bag, he's safe here. It's locked away, the people who terrify him are stuck below this mountain. His Pokémon are all he needs, and if they criticize him, it's quite easy to lock them away, too. It's easy to be alone up here. It's easy to be  _safe_ up here. 

Here, Red is safe. Alone. Lonely, but finally alone.

**Author's Note:**

> hello it is 6 in the morning and i'm tired! i hope you enjoyed though!! Red sure didn't (i might add a nicer epilogue to this later i feel bad for my boy)


End file.
